Tears roll down my face as my pen scratches the surface of my journal. What was that again? Are You sure? Can no one see me coming undone in my recliner as I sit with pen in hand, Bible on armrest, journal in lap, and a surrendered spirit? A Holy Spirit cloud overshadows me to the point that I can see out, but no one can see in. What is this?
Stronger at times than at others, the desire to write a book has lingered in my soul. The day in and day out activities of life seem to smolder that flame. In 2013, I stumbled across the website write31days.com. I have participated each year since and seen my spiritual growth. In addition to being enjoyable and a blessing to my soul, the yearly challenge has satisfied and challenged my passion for writing the past three years. The write31days led me to a group that focuses on using the talents God has given them to write for His glory. It is this group that held the first ever HopeWriters Summit in mid-May. New and experienced authors and editors shared tips and their experience in writing.
Four days these ladies tendered the flames in my soul. The burning desire to write a book burned stronger than ever. As Thursday approached, the possibility of taking a faith step was becoming more real. But a statement by one of Thursday’s speakers stopped the match from reaching my heart.
“Wait for the fire. Wait for the book that is begging to be written,” she sang out.
Lyrics sang just the night before at the church’s prayer and worship service entered my mind.
There’s no place I’d rather be
There’s no place I’d rather be
There’s no place I’d rather be
Than here in your love, here in your love
So set a fire down in my soul
That I can’t contain and I can’t control
I want more of You God, I want more of You God!
With these lyrics fresh on my mind and her words so clearly heard, I knew my first faith step had to be to continue waiting.
Throughout the day the words echoed in my heart and mind as I waited on the Lord to reveal the next step. I could not step if God were not giving me the faith to do it. Needless to say, when I awoke Friday morning and began my time with the Lord, I was not expecting for what happened.
Reading through God’s word, the gentle leading to seek forgiveness from God and a couple of other people became strong. Out of obedience I asked the Lord’s forgiveness and hit the send button on my text message and went back into my personal bible reading time. I turned to Revelation 21 and the fire came down.
Then I heard a loud voice from the throne:
“Look! God’s dwelling is with humanity, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.”
Then the One seated on the throne said, “Look! I am making everything new.” He also said, “Write, because these words are faithful and true.” Revelation 21:1-5
I turn now to the words in my prayer journal on Friday, May 20th:
Oh Father, how is it as I read Revelation 21:1-5 you whisper to me the overwhelming cry of my heart to seek You and dwell with You. You confirm that You desire to dwell with humanity. You tell John to write because Your words are faithful and true. So Lord if You desire for me to write, I pray it is because You have given me Your words to write and Your truth You want to be proclaimed as You make all things new. To put off the old and put on the new. The process of sanctification here on earth only to be finished and brought to glorification at Your return. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness. Oh Lord, have Your way. In Jesus Name. Thank You Lord.
As I scribbled those words in my journal with tears streaming down my face and reaching for a kleenex every few seconds, God’s presence overwhelmed me. My life verse came to memory:
I have asked one thing from the LORD; it is what I desire: to dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, gazing at the beauty of the LORD and seeking Him in His temple” (Psalm 27:4).
I felt assurance that God is going to give me my heart’s desire to dwell in His presence, gaze upon His beauty and write what He shares.
Pondering the idea of writing a book, terrifies me. I haven’t been able to share it with anyone without tears in my eyes. Which is why I guess I decided putting it in writing would be easier. All the speakers I listened to said it is hard. I know it will be hard. But I want the hardness to come from the battle it takes to enter into His presence. I desire for the words to come easy because they come straight from listening to the Father’s voice. I want His voice to ring out in my ears, travel to my heart, make their way through my eyes and mind and out of my hands to the words on the screen. I long for the words to come from the desire to love the Lord my God with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength.
Moving on through my bible reading with inexpressible love and joy for the God who gives us the desires of our hearts as they align with Him I read:
“Furthermore, the Eternal One of Israel does not lie or change His mind, for He is not man who changes his mind.” 1 Samuel 15:29
I do not believe that it is a coincidence that this is also a verse I read the same day of the calling. I know that it will be a verse I will have to cling to when I feel like God made a mistake or that it didn’t happen. It is a verse I will need YOU as a reader to remind me when I get discouraged and have writer’s block!!
I can not deny what happened to me in May 2016 and I need your help. God has called me to write because His words are faithful and true. I do not know what it is going to look like on this next faith step journey, but I do know your encouragement and feedback is going to be crucial. So I am asking you for three things.
First, pray!! Please pray for me as God brings me to your mind. Pray that He will continue to give me a hunger and thirst for Him and that as I draw near to Him, He will draw near to me and give me His words He wants to be shared.
Second, if you have not already joined the Faith Steps Journey community, I encourage you to do so. You will receive weekly updates straight to your mailbox. You will also receive a free copy of Walk with God. A 4-day devotional to draw you deeper into your relationship with God. Click here to begin your Faith Steps Journey!!
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Thank you so much for your prayers and support. I look forward to walking this journey with you and seeing how God moves through His Word!!